If you’re reading this blog post, then you’re likely in the early stages of adopting a child. One of the very first steps in doing so is choosing an adoption agency or other entity. But where does one begin? Ahh..the million dollar question. 😉
In the paragraphs below, I’ll take you through each entity and some pros and cons of each, should they exist. As a real live mama by adoption, I have some light to shed since I was once standing in your shoes.
Let’s start with choosing an adoption agency and the differences therein.
Adoption Agency
Adoption agencies are the first entity most people think of when they are considering adoption. Choosing an adoption agency is not an easy task, as there are an estimated 3,000 agencies in the U.S. alone! To start, let’s organize them by three categories, shall we?
Local
A local adoption agency serves a particular state or area, for example Adoption Texas, which is licensed in Texas to service Texas adoptions. A local agency may be a good fit for you if you don’t want to travel out of state and want more face time with the staff. Some local agencies offer counseling or other support services for both the adoptive and expectant parents. Additionally, cost is usually more reasonable with a local agency. However, the staff may be very small and there might be less “reach.” If that’s the case, you could potentially wait a longer time due to a smaller network of prospective birth families looking to make an adoption plan.
National
A national adoption agency can work with adoptive and expectant parents across multiple states. An example of this is American Adoptions. Since these agencies are much larger and have a broader reach, your profile could potentially be seen by more expectant parents, which could potentially lower your overall wait time. On the flip side, a broader reach and larger staff might equal more expensive due to the large scale marketing efforts done by these large agencies.
Traveling is typically an additional expense for adopting out-of-state and there may also be very little to no face time with the staff for those craving more of a personal touch.
International
International adoption agencies can provide adoption services for a child in another country. An example of this is Holt International. I will touch on this briefly, as most of my followers adopt domestically and I don’t have personal experience with an international adoption.
International adoption usually takes much longer and costs a significant amount of money. There are legal and travel considerations that drive up the cost of international adoptions as well. One of the absolute best resources for more information I’ve found is through American Adoption’s post on international adoption. They offer a wealth of information on their site!
Factors for consideration when choosing an adoption agency
When choosing an adoption agency, you should heavily weigh the importance of the following for you, as everyone will have different desires:
- Cost
- Wait time
- Medical history
- Support (both before and after placement)
- Age of child
- Travel requirements
- Potential for openness after placement
- Whether the agency is for profit or non profit
- And lastly (this is non-negotiable) legal compliance and ethics of the agency
Once you’ve figured out what you (and/or your partner) desire, you can make an educated decision on choosing an adoption agency.
A personal sidenote
My husband’s and my first adoption would fall under the local agency category. In fact, it was a pregnancy outreach as well as a non-profit agency. I may be a tad biased, but I feel like we got the best of all scenarios wrapped up in our choice of agency. We waited a fairly short time (remember, no one can control the timeline — each scenario is unique!), our cost was lower than the national average (which is roughly $40k), and we had support every step of the way; from the moment we attended orientation to after leaving the hospital with our baby boy.
What’s equally as important is that they counseled our son’s birth parents before and after placement. They were also available to support us after we arrived home and while we were navigating our new, open relationship.
I hope that helped summarize the differences between agencies. Let’s move on to the next category…private adoption!
Private Adoption
Private adoptions (sometimes referred to as independent adoptions) occur when a prospective adoptive family works directly with an attorney instead of going through an agency.
A good example scenario may go something like this: a young woman becomes pregnant unexpectedly. After discussing her options with her family, she decides to place her child with a couple the family knows through church. They hire an attorney and go about the process from there.
Compared to an agency adoption, there is much more flexibility in a private adoption. However, you’ll be in the driver’s seat for most of it.
If you plan to market yourself and self-match with an expectant mother (perhaps via Instagram, Facebook or the like), you can go about a private adoption solo. Bear in mind you’ll also lose the “middle man” of a larger entity. If that sounds appealing, private adoption may be right for you. If you need a bit more hand-holding, an agency adoption may be better for you.
As far as fees are concerned, you will still need to pay for a home study and all legal fees. These fees can vary greatly based on your attorney and situation.
A personal sidenote
Our second child, our daughter, was adopted via private adoption. A family reached out to their support system, where we caught wind of a baby girl in a town four hours away. I contacted the family via email and several days later the birth grandmother and I made contact. A few weeks and about 40 hours of phone chats later, we drove up to meet them in person. The rest is history, as they say. 😉
We, the adoptive family, hired our own attorney to draft the necessary paperwork. Our attorney drafted the termination paperwork, which our daughter’s birth mother signed when she was ready. About a year later, we drew up all the paperwork needed to finalize the adoption. All in all, the cost was very little compared to an agency adoption. We estimated a few thousand from start to finish.
If you choose this route, I suggest talking to a few different adoption attorneys to compare fees and requirements.
After going through an agency adoption, I felt that we could handle a private adoption fairly well. However, there were moments where I missed the support we received from the agency. There were some bumps along the road, which are inevitable with any adoption, but we were pretty much on our own. Had this been our first time to adopt, we would have been completely lost. All this to say, I would not recommend going it alone in this way for your first adoption.
Let’s move on to a few lesser known options for adopting a child.
Adoption Consultants and Facilitators
The best way to navigate this is to break it up into two parts. Let’s begin with adoption consultants.
Adoption Consultants
An adoption consultant is someone who provides guidance throughout your adoption process, such as how to raise funds, create your profile book and complete your home study. They’re also well connected with agencies and adoption attorneys. Most couples hire a consultant because of the expectation of a shorter wait time (due to being so well connected) and the highly sought after advice/wisdom/guidance needed during the adoption journey.
Something you need to know about hiring a consultant is that the consultant fees are in addition to your agency fees, should they find you a match through an agency. The cost for a consultant is roughly $3,000 – $4,000.
Did you catch that? You pay for the consultant and the agency in which you partner with. They are a third party provider, and basically, your personal mentor/cheerleader/expert. They cannot complete anything to make the adoption legal. You’ll still need an entity (lawyer, agency, etc.) for that piece.
For example, let’s say you’re pursuing a private adoption with an attorney who is simply drawing up the paperwork. You feel like you need guidance on how to navigate the relationship, fundraising, or the hospital experience. In this scenario, a consultant may be a perfect fit. In fact, we considered this route before we found out about our daughter.
Adoption Facilitators
Adoption Facilitators are entities that match expectant families with adoptive families. They typically have a very large reach and can help families be seen more, which could indicate a faster match.
However, that’s where their job ends and another begins. Much like the consultant (above) this is another third party provider. After the initial meet-up and match, you must work with another entity to make it legal, whether agency or adoption attorney. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find any solid data regarding fees for facilitators in the US.
It’s important to add that adoption facilitators are not legal in every state because they aren’t required to be licensed. Before you do too much digging on this option, look into your state’s requirements on using a facilitator.
Foster to adopt
There are an estimated 400,000 children in the foster system. These children have been taken into custody by the state because their home is no longer considered a safe place, usually due to neglect or abuse. There is a significant need for more able, willing and qualified foster families in the U.S., and this is an extraordinary way to build your family should this be the right fit for you.
While the goal of foster care is reunification with the biological parents, that is not always possible. This is precisely when the child may be eligible for adoption.
For families who wish to have children, foster-to-adopt is likely the only adoption scenario that costs next to nothing. Whether adoption is cost prohibitive or you have a heart for children in need (or both!), this is an extraordinary way to build your family.
It’s very possible to adopt a baby through foster care, but with longer adoption timelines and the need for older children to be adopted, typically foster children are between toddler age all the way up to teens.
In order to foster a child, you (and your partner, if applicable) will need to go through training on trauma, loss, and other pertinent topics. The hours required depend on your state’s requirements, but can take anywhere from 4-10 weeks.
Want to dig deeper into your state’s regulations? Here’s a good place to start.
A personal sidenote
While I don’t have personal experience fostering, the hubby and I have several friends who we’ve watched grow their families — rather quickly — through foster care. Many of them went from praying for kids for years to having three in their home at one time! What a whirlwind!
Foster care is not easy, but I can’t help but feel overjoyed when these amazing couples simultaneously build their family and give these kids solid, healthy homes for the first time.
Foster care (much like adoption) is not for everyone. You must really feel called to be a foster parent in order to do what’s required of you, and more importantly, what’s in the best interest for the child(ren).
How are you feeling now?
I hope this helped summarize choosing an adoption agency, or rather, how to choose the best entity for your situation.
My hope is that you’ll use this article (and do your own research, make some calls, etc.) and find what entity feels right for your family.
Remember, you can’t control your outcome or wait time, but you can control choosing the best place based on your best efforts. Do what you can with the resources you have, and let God take it from there.
Cheering you on, mama!
XOXO,
Not quite sure you’re ready to choose an agency yet? Check out this blog post on what to consider before you take the leap!
